Notes
Note: I’ve re-organized the outline hierarchy.
Intro
This document describes our plan for the first years of a child. It is based on our experience and recommendations we got/read. This will likely not work for everybody everywhere. If you add up the numbers for more than two children it quickly becomes that it doesn’t add up even if one parent takes care of the children full time. There are some synergies between children and one also gets better with practice but we still ran into sleep deficits and lack of couple time.
0 years old
0-0.5 years
The first month is all about getting used to life with the new baby. Only the most important things are done. Otherwise the following applies roughly: 1st week: The mother stays in bed with the baby most of the time and takes care of herself and the baby. The father takes care of everything else. 2nd week: The mother mainly takes care of herself and the baby, but outside of the bed, but continues to sleep a lot; she may already be taking care of the other children while playing. The father takes care of everything else. 3rd week: The mother takes care of herself, the baby, and the other children, but sleeps more often; she may take care of some household chores. The father takes care of everything else. 4th week: The mother takes care of the normal duties with support from the father, but still takes one nap a day.
Childhood after the first month: The child must be fully cared for. Bathing twice a week (2 x 0.5 = 1) Wash 2 times a week (2 x 0.25 = 0.5) Feed every 2 hours daily (also at night) (7 x 12 x 0.5 = 42) Diaper every 2 hours daily (not at night) (7 x 8 x 0.25 = 14) Engage(\*) 1 hour a day (30 minutes of which are active) (7 x 1.0 = 7) 1 new topic(\*\*) daily (7 x 0.25 = 1.75) 1 course(\*\*) per week (including arrival and departure) (26 in the half-year) (1 x 3.0 = 3) Time spent per week: 69.25 hours
(\*) engage means letting the child play or occupy itself or (called active) playing together. (\*\*) see spreadsheet. Topics are activities done or skills acquired, they are done alone or with the parent(s). Courses are periodic activities typically organized by a teacher or trainer.
0.5-1 years
While breastfeeding, the baby has become accustomed to meal times. The baby no longer feeds in the middle of the night. It has gotten to know an evening ritual (including bathing) and is put to bed at a certain time. Bathe twice a week (2 x 0.5 = 1) Feed 5 times a day (7 x 5 x 0.5 = 17.5) Diaper 5 times a day (7 x 5 x 0.25 = 8.75) Put to bed every day (evening ritual) (7 x 0.5 = 3.5) Engage 1 hour a day (30 minutes of which are active) (7 x 1.0 = 7) 1 new topic daily (7 x 0.25 = 1.75) 1 course per week (including arrival and departure) (26 total during this period) (1 x 3.0 = 3) Time spent per week: 42.5 hours
1 years old
1-1.5 years
The child takes all three main meals as independently as possible. It drinks from the suction cup.
Bathe twice a week (2 x 0.5 = 1) Help with main meals (7 x 0.25 = 1.75) Breastfeeding twice a day or bottle (7 x 2 x 0.25 = 3.5) Diaper 5 times a day (7 x 5 x 0.25 = 8.75) Put to bed every day (evening ritual) (7 x 0.5 = 3.5) Engage 1 hour a day (30 minutes of which are active) (7 x 1.0 = 7) New topic every two days (7/2 x 0.5 = 1.75) One course every 2 weeks (including arrival and departure) (26 per year) (13 per semester) (1/2 x 3.0 = 1.5) Time spent per week: 28.75 hours
1.5-2 years
The afternoon bottle / breastfeeding is no longer necessary and has been replaced by a snack that it eats itself.
Bathing twice a week (2 x 0.5 = 1) Help with main meals (7 x 0.25 = 1.75) Breastfeeding once a day or bottle (7 x 0.25 = 1.75) Diaper 5 times a day (7 x 5 x 0.25 = 8.75) Put to bed every day (evening ritual) (7 x 0.5 = 3.5) Engage 1 hour a day (30 minutes of which are active) (7 x 1.0 = 7) New topic every two days (7/2 x 0.5 = 1.75) One course every 2 weeks (including arrival and departure) (26 per year) (13 per semester) (1/2 x 3.0 = 1.5) Time spent per week: 27 hours
2 years old
2-2.5 years
The child actually no longer needs any help with eating. The milk meals (by bottle or breast) are weaned.
Bathing twice a week (2 x 0.5 = 1) Diaper 5 times a day (7 x 5 x 0.25 = 8.75) Put to bed every day (evening ritual) (7 x 0.5 = 3.5) Engage 1 hour a day (30 minutes of which are active) (7 x 1.0 = 7) New topic every three days (7/3 x 0.75 = 1.75) One course every 3 weeks (including arrival and departure) (17 per year) (9 per semester) (1/3 x 3.0 = 1) Time spent per week: 22.75 hours
2.5-3 years
Bathing twice a week (2 x 0.5 = 1) Diaper 5 times a day (7 x 5 x 0.25 = 8.75) Put to bed every day (evening ritual) (7 x 0.5 = 3.5) Engage 1 hour a day (30 minutes of which are active) (7 x 1.0 = 7) New topic every three days (7/3 x 0.75 = 1.75) One course every 3 weeks (including arrival and departure) (17 per year) (9 per semester) (1/3 x 3.0 = 1) Time spent per week: 22.75 hours
3 years old
3-3.5 years
The child is dry and clean. It goes to kindergarten at least twice a week. Our rule for kindergarten attendance is that it may attend kindergarten five days a week but at age 2 two are compulsory. With each year one more day becomes compulsory.
It can do a “solo course” every three weeks. This is a course it can attend without parents but with some other supervision. Parents take care of round-trip travel and planning (this will change at a later age).
Bathing twice a week (2 x 0.5 = 1) Put to bed every day (evening ritual) (7 x 0.5 = 3.5) Engage 1 hour a day (30 minutes of which are active) (7 x 1.0 = 7) New topic every four days (7/4 x 1 = 1.75) Travel to and from kindergarten twice a week and doing something for kindergarten for 15 minutes a week (2 x 2 x 0.5 + 0.25 = 2.25) One course every 4 weeks (including arrival and departure) (13 per year) (7 per semester) (1/4 x 3.0 = 0.75)
One solo course every 3 weeks (only arrival and departure) (17 times a year) (9 times a half-year) (1/3 x 1.5 = 0.5) Time spent per week: 16.75 hours
3.5-4 years
The child partly prepares himself for bed (independent undressing and dressing, independent washing, it helps with tidying up). It can be left “alone” while bathing when it is playing. It does three small household chores per week (about 5 minutes each).
At this age, we introduce that the child takes over household chores. The general formula is (life-years minus 2) times 15 minutes per week. The smallest unit of chores is 5 minutes e.g. setting or clearing the table, doing the dishwasher, taking out the garbage, later making a bed, vacuuming, doing garden work, and more.
Bathing twice a week (2 x 0.25 = 0.5) Put to bed every day (evening ritual) (7 x 0.25 = 1.75) Engage 1 hour a day (30 minutes of which are active) (7 x 1.0 = 7) New topic every four days (7/4 x 1 = 1.75) Travel to and from kindergarten twice a week and doing something for kindergarten for 15 minutes a week (2 x 2 x 0.5 + 0.25 = 2.25) One course every 4 weeks (including arrival and departure) (13 per year) (7 per semester) (1/4 x 3.0 = 0.75) One solo course every 3 weeks (only arrival and departure) (17 times a year) (9 times a half-year) (1/3 x 1.5 = 0.5)
MINUS: Let it do three small household chores per week (-3 x 5 minutes = -0.25)
Time spent per week: 16.75 hours
4 years old
4-4.5 years
First street crossing on local road. The child does six small household chores per week (approx. 5 minutes each). There are three compulsory days in kindergarten per week.
Bathing twice a week (2 x 0.25 = 0.5) Put to bed every day (evening ritual) (7 x 0.25 = 1.75) Engage 1 hour a day (30 minutes of which are active) (7 x 1.0 = 7) New topic every five days (7/5 x 1.25 = 1.75) Travel to and from kindergarten 3 times a week and doing something for kindergarten for 15 minutes a week (3 x 2 x 0.5 + 0.25 = 3.25) A course attendance 10 times a year (including arrival and departure) (5 in the half-year) (10/52 x 3.0 = approx. 0.75) One solo course every 3 weeks (only arrival and departure) (17 times a year) (9 times a half-year) (1/3 x 1.5 = 0.5)
MINUS: It does 6 small household chores a week (-6 x 5 minutes = -0.5)
Time spent per week: 15 hours
4.5-5 years
Bathing twice a week (2 x 0.25 = 0.5) Put to bed every day (evening ritual) (7 x 0.25 = 1.75) Engage 1 hour a day (30 minutes of which are active) (7 x 1.0 = 7) New topic every five days (7/5 x 1.25 = 1.75) Travel to and from kindergarten 3 times a week and doing something for kindergarten for 15 minutes a week (3 x 2 x 0.5 + 0.25 = 3.25) 10 times a year a course (including arrival and departure) (5 in the half-year) (10/52 x 3.0 = approx. 0.75) a solo course every 3 weeks (only arrival and departure) (17 times a year) (9 times a half-year) (1/3 x 1.5 = 0.5)
MINUS: It does 6 small household chores a week (-6 x 5 minutes = -0.5)
Time spent per week: 15 hours
5 years old
5-5.5 years
The child has four compulsory kindergarten days per week. It does nine small household chores a week.
Bathing twice a week (2 x 0.25 = 0.5) Put to bed every day (evening ritual) (7 x 0.25 = 1.75) Engage 1 hour a day (30 minutes of which are active) (7 x 1.0 = 7) New topic every six days (7/6 x 1.5 = 1.75) Travel to and from kindergarten 4 times a week and doing something for kindergarten for 15 minutes a week (4 x 2 x 0.5 + 0.25 = 4.25) 10 times a year a course (including arrival and departure) (5 in the half-year) (10/52 x 3.0 = approx. 0.75) One solo course every 3 weeks (only arrival and departure) (17 times a year) (9 times a half-year) (1/3 x 1.5 = 0.5)
MINUS: It does 9 small household chores a week (-9 x 5 minutes = -0.75)
Time spent per week: 15.75 hours
5.5-6 years
The child walks to the kindergarten alone. It can prepare itself for bed on its own (only bedtime singing; book reading is then “game time”).
Bathing twice a week (2 x 0.25 = 0.5) Engage 1 hour a day (30 minutes of which are active) (7 x 1.0 = 7) New topic every six days (7/6 x 1.5 = 1.75) Pick up from kindergarten 4 times a week and do something for kindergarten for 15 minutes a week (4 x 0.5 + 0.25 = 2.25) 10 times a year a course (including arrival and departure) (5 in the half-year) (10/52 x 3.0 = approx. 0.75) One solo course every 3 weeks (only arrival and departure) (17 times a year) (9 times a half-year) (1/3 x 1.5 = 0.5)
MINUS: It does 9 small household chores a week (-9 x 5 minutes = -0.75)
Time spent per week: 12 hours
6 years old
6-6.5 years
The child goes to school on 5 mornings (if they have not yet started school, the following times still apply), are brought and picked up. The “background activity” is reduced by 15 minutes. 4 small household chores are done by him. During the week, the child is helped with homework for 15 minutes (even during holidays that are not holidays).
Bathing twice a week (2 x 0.25 = 0.5) Engage 45 minutes a day (30 minutes of which are active) (7 x 0.75 = 5.25) New topic every 7 days (7/7 x 1.75 = 1.75) Travel to and from school 5 times a week and doing something for the school for 30 minutes a week (5 x 0.5 + 0.5 = 3) Help with homework 5 times a week for 15 minutes (5 x 0.25 = 1.25) 10 times a year a course (including arrival and departure) (5 in the half-year) (10/52 x 3.0 = approx. 0.75) One solo course every 3 weeks (only arrival and departure) (17 times a year) (9 times a half-year) (1/3 x 1.5 = 0.5)
MINUS: It does 12 small household chores a week (-12 x 5 minutes = -1 hour)
Time spent per week: 12 hours
6.5-7 years
The child goes to and from school alone. The child can do the bathing alone (possibly with little help, which is then a background job).
Bathing once a week (0.25) Engage 45 minutes a day (30 minutes of which are active) (7 x 0.75 = 5.25) New topic every 7 days (7/7 x 1.75 = 1.75) Do something for school once a week (0.5) Help with homework 5 times a week for 15 minutes (5 x 0.25 = 1.25) 10 times a year a course (including arrival and departure) (5 in the half-year) (10/52 x 3.0 = approx. 0.75) One solo course every 3 weeks (only arrival and departure) (17 times a year) (9 times a half-year) (1/3 x 1.5 = 0.5)
MINUS: It does 12 small household chores a week (-12 x 5 minutes = -1 hour)
Time spent per week: 9.25 hours
7 years old
7-7.5 years
The child no longer receives something “new” every week, and the times are reduced as a result. 15 small household chores per week. “Days off” at school: 2 per month.
Bathing once a week (0.25) Engage 45 minutes a day (30 minutes of which are active) (7 x 0.75 = 5.25) New topic every 8 days (7/8 x 1.75 = approx. 1.75) Do something for school once a week (0.5) Help with homework 5 times a week for 15 minutes (5 x 0.25 = 1.25) 10 times a year a course (including arrival and departure) (5 in the half-year) (10/52 x 3.0 = approx. 0.75) One solo course every 3 weeks (only arrival and departure) (17 times a year) (9 times a half-year) (1/3 x 1.5 = 0.5)
MINUS: It does 15 small household chores a week (-15 x 5 minutes = -1.25)
Time spent per week: 9 hours
7.5-8 years
Bathing once a week (0.25) Engage 45 minutes a day (30 minutes of which are active) (7 x 0.75 = 5.25) New topic every 8 days (7/8 x 1.75 = approx. 1.75) Do something for school once a week (0.5) Help with homework 5 times a week for 15 minutes (5 x 0.25 = 1.25) 10 times a year a course (including arrival and departure) (5 in the half-year) (10/52 x 3.0 = approx. 0.75) One solo course every 3 weeks (only arrival and departure) (17 times a year) (9 times a half-year) (1/3 x 1.5 = 0.5)
MINUS: It does 15 small household chores a week (-15 x 5 minutes = -1.25)
Time spent per week: 9 hours