- The baby may arrive earlier than planned; try to include Slack in your plans
- See headings
1. A newborn is not a baby
I thought it was gonna be like this:
But it’s actually like this:
4. Babies are incredibly overdramatic
When a normal person is hungry, or tired, or needs to burp, they’re a little annoyed. Babies are in Shakespearean agony. And then comes the burp and one second later they’re like “sup.” It’s insane behavior.
For a while, the range of baby emotion runs from Shakespearean agony to neutral, never entering the positive realm. Neutral is a newborn’s best-case scenario.
After six weeks or so, positive emotion begins to make an appearance, but then they still go apoplectic at the slightest inconvenience.
While we’re here, I know it’s bad but I can’t help it—crying babies are funny. My wife completely disagrees with me on this.
6. Babies shit all over your schedule
Obvious one, I know, but just check this out:
These are the sleep graphs of three different babies, but they all have one thing in common: there’s no rhyme or reason in the early months, because newborns are dicks.